A good slap across the face from life is needed periodically to make you see that which is directly in front of your eyes. Something you may have suspected was there the entire time, but you were blissfully ignoring it in the hope it would just go away.
Towards the end of last year I has such an episode.
While I’d worked hard to build the studio, it had meant a long time between painting drinks (so to speak), but now it was all done there was nothing to hold me back.
I’d had an idea percolating in my mind and I thought it was time to give it some life – lets go make some art!
But I find I’m indecisive, procrastinating, over finessing how to attack the idea and analysing it to death before I even start – all without actually clarifying anything tangible. I can feel the pressure mounting to make all this thinking work worthwhile. I just wanted to make this one perfect but I think I am just confusing myself more.
I just need to start already – but I’m not sure where… I guess I’ll just go for it and hope some of those details fall into place as I go.
Not long in and… it just looks terrible.
What a complete waste of time this has all been – over analyzing a clearly crap idea. Not only is the idea crap, but I am crap at the execution. It’s sloppy, directionless and without any clear path out of this mess. I wipe the canvas clean and walk away in disgust.
After a day stewing over it, it’s obvious my skills are lacking in a lot of areas, but on the positive side I now have a better understanding on what these specific areas are and how I might be able to work on fixing these shortcomings.
I begin to feel energised again as I feel I finally have a bit more clarity about what it is I should be doing. By working on these areas in isolation, I am unburdened with needing the end result to be a masterpiece of epic proportions.
Interestingly, I was again reminded that it is the process of making art that is where the enjoyment lies, rather than stressing to death about what the final result needed to be.
Most importantly I have become grateful for life’s mistakes, for without them we would never grow.
